Pizza Paper

So, one time I went down to the local pizza shop to grab some pizza for my family.  Of course, when I got there, they didn’t even have pizza!  Just calzones and stuff!  So, I had to make the pizza myself.

I got home and washed my hands.  “Now…how to you make pizza again?” I thought.   I got a pan, and started to think of what I should use for the dough.  I thought, “Ohh!  I should use the dough that mom uses – wait.  That would be boring.  I’ll use mud instead!  That’ll be tasty!”  Or so I thought.  Of course, I was like four at the time so I didn’t know better.  I went outside and grabbed some mud.  I plopped it in the pan.

“Okay, now for the cheese!”  I looked in the fridge.  “Aww shoot, no cheese!”  Of course, there was cheese right behind the pickle jar, I just didn’t move it and look.  What to use instead of cheese – I didn’t know!  “Maybe…” I eyed the uncooked pasta in the pantry.  “That looks close enough like cheese!  I’ll use it!”  So, I took the box and emptied it into the pan over the mud.

“Now for toppings…”  I thought.  I grabbed a whole lot of things there - some of which I don’t remember now.  I remember putting mustard, gummies, eggs, bananas, squash, and OJ in there.

I asked my mom to stick the pizza into the oven.  Of course, she was on the phone with a friend and wasn’t paying attention as she put it into the oven.  The good part about that was that she didn’t notice how the pizza looked.  She didn’t notice because she was so caught up in that conversation with her friend.

So, along came dinnertime when the pizza was ready, and we took it out of the oven.  “Uh, what’s that smell?” asked Dad, coming in the door from work.  “Hi honey!  How was your day?”  Mom started asking.  “No, no, no, wait…what is that smell?”  Dad asked louder this time.  “It’s pizza!”  I proudly exclaimed.

In the end, we all tried a slice, puked, puked again, and chucked that pizza in the garbage.  “Well that wasn’t completely a fail.”  I told everyone.  “Why is that?” Mom asked me.  “Well, I used all of the squash.  Now we don’t have to eat it tomorrow for dinner like you said!”  I said, happily.